oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize