I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.