If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
