Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face http://tfl.nu/4ulx
  Replies (24) Good night (656) Bad night (2335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers http://tfl.nu/f9xh
  Replies (32) Good night (2900) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Wait, how do girls masturbate?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

  (925): View more from California

  ..how does it fit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Wait, how do girls masturbate? (1-925): I dunno we use shower heads I guess. (925): ..how does it fit? http://tfl.nu/ktf5
  Replies (85) Good night (1988) Bad night (5685)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed. http://tfl.nu/amby
  Replies (18) Good night (6523) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later. http://tfl.nu/b9wm
  Replies (17) Good night (5329) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes http://tfl.nu/4qyv
  Replies (22) Good night (1229) Bad night (4819) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him? http://tfl.nu/7fnz
  Replies (17) Good night (1584) Bad night (4302) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it. http://tfl.nu/o1jt
  Replies (8) Good night (3885) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster. http://tfl.nu/ns19
  Replies (10) Good night (3538) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation http://tfl.nu/u5tc
  Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (3038) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings. http://tfl.nu/fkoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2229) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/gccv
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.

  (896): View more from

  That actually is really sweet of you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia. (896): That actually is really sweet of you http://tfl.nu/0opp
  Replies (4) Good night (1004) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs. http://tfl.nu/3hwl
  Replies (5) Good night (1848) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when. http://tfl.nu/o3c9
  Replies (6) Good night (1129) Bad night (174)

Randomize