Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?