Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.