I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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