you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize