I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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