It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heâ€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?