I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize