): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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