I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
