Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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