Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
