I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize