you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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