Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize