i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
