dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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