I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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