Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
