I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
