I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
