all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize