My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
FUCK WHALES
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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