I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
