I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
