why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
