Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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