It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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