Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
