then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
