wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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