so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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