I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
as a side note pls kill me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
