Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
