They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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