Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize