I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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