I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
