i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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