By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
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I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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