she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
