He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
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Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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