he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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