its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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