Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
