my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
