It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i was born a porn star she said
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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