Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina