wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
zippers are such a cool invention
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At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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